Julia Child’s Lost Last Broadcast

by Steve Hodge

For those fatty, indulgent cuts of beef for which you might lack affinity,

Layer them in the bottom of your oldest, blackened, favorite pan.

Smother these unappreciated step children

With aromatics pressed down hard with your hand.

This coddles and comforts your little bottom dwellers.

Now make a layer of your ladies in waiting, your rooty-tooty friends,

Carrots, turnips, parsnips,

 Along with balding onions faire,

A full stick of Irish butter, a quart of Alsatian beef stock

And an Andalusian ham hock.

Himalayan salt and Madagascan pepper to taste.

I’m sure that you’ll find that these accoutrements ensure an enviable dish.

Quite delish!

Then continue with your ingredient list.

Pommes de Terre sliced thin with a mandoline

Will fall like heads of royalty with a flair.

But be careful not to catch your hair!

Add some more of our patrician flesh if you dare.

Simmer in a ’61 St. Julian Bordeaux, a kingly wine.

Smack your lips, mighty fine.

Your dish at medium high will at first be angry,

Boiling with rage.

But soon after turning to medium low,

Your dish will calm and settle down.

Then you’ll be going to town.

It sits for five hours swimming in sin,

Not exactly a soufflé.

So, get comfy;

Watch reruns of Bobby Flay.

When done, your delightful French Country Cooking

Will be ready to share with invited friends.

But before serving,

Take care and make amends;

Then, you, the epicurean grand dame,

The Queen of the Somme,

Will pull the bay leaf from the cauldron

And affix it to your hair.

Bio:
Steve Hodge is a retired college professor. He is a published composer and is known for his contributions to the world of choral music.